5 Love Lessons

Every two months I look forward to receiving the latest issue of Psychology Today which highlights articles about best practice applications for professionals and healthy living tips for interested readers.   An article entitled “Five Love Lessons from Same-Sex Couples” was listed on the most recent front cover.


John Gottman, a leading couples’ therapy expert, who leads numerous workshops for therapists was frequently quoted in the article which highlighted several nuances that same-gender couples apply in their marriages/partnerships that heterosexual couples can learn from.   I strongly encourage you to review the article by Hara Estroff Marano for greater details (clients can find copies of this edition in the waiting room!) of the five highlighted lessons below:

1.       Create Fluid Roles (equitable division of responsibilities)

2.       Sexual Experimenting is a Good Thing (couples have greater permission to seek, discuss and request exploration in the bedroom with their partner often resulting in mutual satisfaction.

3.       Keep Calm Amid Conflict (issues are presented in a positive manner with a commitment to negotiate fairly)

4.       Deal with Being Surrounded by Attractive Others (which adds depth to trusted friendships that support the couple)

5.       Allow for Breathing Room When It Comes to Money, Family and Maybe Even Sex


Having cheered on several same-gender couples who have opted to get married in the past year as more US states endorse gay marriage, it remains a privilege to assist married couples (heterosexual or same-gender) keep their vows intact, negotiate through challenges, and behave like they were first in love.


Having worked with dozens of heterosexual and same-gender couples for the past twenty years, I really enjoyed the article’s emphasis on direct communication and negotiation, key components to successful outcomes in couples therapy.  Contact me at dnelson@ftlcfit.com or 954 789 9061 with additional questions or to inquire about therapy services at FTLCFIT.